


Nothing on the Menu, Anyway

by capitalnineteen



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15151304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capitalnineteen/pseuds/capitalnineteen
Summary: Barry tries to find something to occupy himself during the year in Tesseralia. Lup isn't thrilled with his choice. (Prompt request for the sentence "What you did was stupid.")





	Nothing on the Menu, Anyway

After Merle agrees to undertake the request of the First Monastery the rest of the crew are at loose ends. There’s no light to search for because that success or failure hangs on Merle.

Once he leaves, the rest of them set off on their own pursuits. The crew gets a large apartment in Tesseralia and for a change they have  _space_. They see each other less than ever.

Taako and Lup spend their time exploring restaurants and shopping. Barry sees them from time to time but it’s rarer as the year goes on and they explore farther and farther out.

Magnus has taken on coaching a team in some confusing sport Barry doesn’t really follow. He attends a few games as a show of support but mostly because he’s just at a loss for how to spend his time. There are libraries and universities and learning opportunities abound but Barry finds them less compelling than he should. Lucretia seems to dive in enough for both of them.

Davenport gets involved with a group that build small fighting robots. That’s extremely interesting and Barry himself would pursue it but he wants to give the Captain space. It’s so rare for them to be able to go off alone and do their own thing without worry and Davenport deserves that opportunity. Barry attends a few matches and is cheered to see the interest and joy on the Captain’s face at something not related to their mission.

Barry spends a lot of time wandering the university campus. He sees Lucretia at lunch one day, sitting in an outdoor cafe with a truly striking woman. Their faces are animated in what is clearly a pleasant discussion. Barry is just considering stopping for a moment to greet them when the woman stands, pushes her mass of long, brown braids over her shoulder, and leans down to kiss Lucretia. Barry leaves them to their moment.

He’s sure most if not all of the rest of the crew have had relationships on the planets they’ve visited. It seems so awkward to Barry, though. They all know that they’ll be leaving. The chances of returning are impossibly remote. Of course, he’s been pining for Lup for most of the three decades that he’s known her so who is he to judge appropriate relationships?

Barry has never been particularly good at dating. Or any good at dating. Disastrous would be the best word to describe it, actually. In college, he’d had a crush on the TA in one of the first science classes he took and for months he’d stammered and blushed his way through every interaction. Barry had been in graduate school before he’d built up the nerve to ask them out. By then the TA was a professor. And engaged.

And that was when he’d had a normal human life expectancy to spur him on! Compare that with thirty years of watching Lup with puppy dog eyes and his track record was getting worse not better. How could he hope to meet someone and date them within the confines of a single cycle?

But maybe if he got out there and tried he could put this ridiculous crush to rest. He wasn’t excited about the idea but if it helped him get out from under the weight of these unrequited feelings it was worth an attempt. He was never going to find anyone like Lup but maybe he could find someone who’d be interested in him. That would be a good start.

___

“Taako, is that  _Barry?_ ”

Taako looks up and follows Lup’s gaze to the back of the restaurant. “Yeah, looks like the denim nerd himself.” He looks back down at the menu. “Hey, you wanna try the lamb? Cause, like, that chicken thing sounds amazing but I can’t decide.”

Lup’s eyes are not on the menu. “Who is he with?”

Taako glances over again. “Who the fuck knows? It’s not one of us so who cares?”

“Is he on a  _date_?”

“Uh, yeah, I believe that is what it’s called when you sit at a small candle lit table with someone who isn’t your closest blood relative,” Taako answers, not looking up from his menu. “Mags said he’d been dating this year. Took her to one of Maggie’s games and brought popcorn for all the kids or some shit. Have you seen those kids play? Not good date material, ya know?” He peers over at the pair again. “She’s not bad. Kinda nerdy like him. How old is she, ya think? I can never tell with humans. Does she know he’s, like, secretly 80?” Taako asks with a laugh. “For humans that’s pretty much one foot in the grave.”

Lup looks at Taakko like he’d slapped her. “Don’t fucking say that, Taako. Gods, that’s  _terrible_.”

“Is it one foot in the grave when you’ve died 29 times? Or do cycles count? Do we only count actual deaths? Either way, I think we’re at least knee deep at this point. Out on a technicality or something.”

At the back of the restaurant, Barry laughs at something his date has said. Lup snaps her menu closed. “I don’t really see anything I want,” she announces.

Taako raises an eyebrow at his sister, his ears flicking with humor. “Oh, really?”

“I’m gonna head back,” she says, getting up. “See you at the apartment.”

Taako watches Lup go then turns to Barry’s table where he and his date are finishing their dessert. Taako shakes his head. These two fucking idiots have got to get their shit together. They’re gonna be the death of him. Well,  _a_  death of him, anyway.

___

Lup is pissed. What the hell is Barry doing? He’s welcome to do whatever he wants, of course, he’s a grown man. But bringing some outsider to see Magnus’s team play? They don’t mix rela… civilians and the team. What was he thinking?

It’s not like he can settle down here with her or something. At the end of the year it’s over. Even if he doesn’t get on the ship he’ll regenerate with them for the next place. You don’t…  _She’s_  never… Well, she’s had flings, of course. They all have. Or mostly. Barry hadn’t. Until now. But you don’t mix  _those people_  with… Whatever. Maybe he just didn’t realize how this was done? Maybe she should tell him?

Lup throws herself down on her bed. And what exactly is she going to tell him?  “Look, Barry, if you wanna go fuck some  _worlder_  then like, whatever, more power to you I guess but keep ‘em away from the team, okay? We don’t need to see that. Have some fucking respect for…”

Or maybe, “Oh, sorry, Barry, I guess you didn’t realize you’re supposed to fucking just keep pining and twiddling your fucking thumbs until I figure out what the hell I want?” 

Lup pushes her face into her pillow and screams.

She likes him. She more than likes him.

And - she realizes with a guilty twinge - she’s expected him to know that and wait.

This is stupid! It’s not like he can do anything with this person. Okay, yeah, obviously he can do stuff. Great. Way to go, Lup. Put that image in your head. She yells into her pillow again, kicks her feet on the mattress like a petulant child.

She hears the front door. Fuck, she doesn’t want to get into a thing with Taako over this. It’s already too much noise in her own head, she doesn’t want to have to actually let it out and share it with her brother. He’s been dropping hints and making jokes for ten years. Can’t she have a little more time to figure it out?

She stands up and props the pillow back in place and straightens the comforter, trying to cover evidence of her tantrum. 

Opening the bedroom door she’s already making excuses, “Taako, I’m sorry, I know that was probably a great restaurant but… Oh.” It’s not Taako. “Hey, Barry. Uh, thought you were Taako.”

Barry shakes his head and smiles, “Not today, no. Try again tomorrow? Actually, I was thinking of being Magnus tomorrow so maybe the day after.”

“Funny,” Lup answers, not laughing.

“Sorry,” he says, his smile faltering. “You okay?”

“I’m not, no,” she answers, crossing her arms. “How about you? You good? You sure seem chipper.”

“Yeah, I had a nice evening,” he says, distracted. He looks at her with concern. “But what’s up?”

“What you did was stupid.”

“Excuse me?” he asks. His concern has shifted to confusion.

“If you wanna fuck some worlder, that’s... but bringing ‘em to one of Maggie’s games? Fuck! You don’t bring them around the crew. I think you signed paperwork on that even.”

Barry’s eyes are wide. “Paperwork? Lup, I think we’re a bit past HR guidelines here.”

“Yeah, well, maybe so and maybe not. Just fuckin’… Whatever.” She flings up her hands as if the subject is suddenly too boring to discuss further. “I’m heading out. Have a great evening.” She strides past him to the door, slams it behind her.

Barry stares at the closed door. What the hell was that about?

Oh.  _Ohhhh_. Barry’s smile from earlier returns at ten times the intensity.

Huh, he thinks. Didn’t see that one coming.

**Author's Note:**

> My TAZ tumblr is @youhearstatic if you'd like to drop by and request a prompt! Thanks for reading!


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